So I just read an essay written by a Penn Teller about why he believes there is no God. I in no way wish to try and prove him wrong, or call him naive. He has reasons for why he does not believe in God. Those reasons, in fact, are very similar to the reason I do believe in God. He writes that he won the"genetic lottery" with having an amazing family. I also have been utterly blessed with an amazing, supportive, loving family. I won the genetic lottery, but I cannot think of it as chance. I was given a beautiful family, not for myself, but for others. My family has taught me about giving to others. Not feeling sorry for others, but understanding how they are feeling and helping them. Because of who my family was I have been able to be used to help my friends through their rough times, whether it be with a house to live in, or a fat cuddly friend to hug while watching A Walk To Remember.

There is epic pain and extreme evil in the world. I believe this easily as I have had to witness it. I also believe that these are not for nothing. We do not simply have a God that sits back and lets evil occur. We, instead, have a God who allows us to grow and learn closer with him through the pain in our lives. If we have not known utter sadness, how are we to know utter happiness? If we do not have to crawl blind in the dark, how do we know when we have reached the light? Sin creates pain and hurt and evil in the world, but God, God gives us beauty and love and shelter of the body and soul.

I cannot not believe in God, not only because of the good I've witnessed, but also because of the evil. Evil that can only exist due to an absence of God in a person's heart. The Love I have witnessed and felt also allows God to be seen. I feel God's warmth every time I hold my fiance's hand, or every time I hug a friend, or get tucked in by my parents. I cannot deny that God exists because I have felt him in my heart and seen him in eyes and hearts of the people I love.

I want everyone to take this opportunity to think about why they believe in God, or don't depending on the situation. Think on it, and really examine your own heart.

Where were you? Where were you?

God. Big loaded and sometimes intimidating word. I was raised in a catholic household, and went to church every Sunday. I didn't like it, for many reasons. I felt judged, as I identify as bisexual, the Catholic church was not exactly the most gentle loving place, especially because at the time I was questioning my sexuality my state was voting on an anti-gay marriage bill, which my church loved. I felt judged at church, but as far as God was concerned my family had always told me God cares about a persons heart, not who is in their bed. I was raised in a pro-choice, pro-gay rights, catholic house hold. I felt loved and accepted at home, and it was there, rather than church that helped me to see God's love. But I never felt it.

I would go to church and see everyone praying and worshipping and they looked so happy and at peace. I never felt that. I prayed and prayed for God to reveal himself to me. I felt like no one was listening and I felt completly alone. Some of my friends had such a light in them, and I felt like God just didn't want, I was too much of a sinner, I couldn't possibly be good enough for him.

My good friend and I had talked about this a lot and she invited me to her Youth group. I was scared and would make excuses not to go for months. Then one night I just decided to go, it felt right. That night I, for hr first time, felt like God was listening. Then I went to college and found a church there that I loved.I was so happy. But I pretended at first. I thought there was no way these people could love me for me. They all know God so well and never seem to sin. They'll judge me and think I'm gross. I cuss, I drank, I went to parties, and I still had not had a real connection with God.

The more people I met in the church the more loved I felt. I started to reveal myself to these people and I felt loved I hadn't felt since I left home. They took me as I was with all my flaws and failures and really truly loved me. They showed me what Christ loves was like by loving me for me and helping me, talking to me, and listening to me. They gave me the courage to take my problems to God. I was finally able to start a conversation with God and just sit and listen. I was so happy at first. Then I got angry.

I was so mad. I had asked, pleaded begged for God in my life for years. How dare he deny me and make it so easy later, after I had tried so hard earlier. I was angry for a long time. Then I realized God waited to reveal himself to me because he truly Knew me. If he would have revealed himself to me when I was younger it would have been fleeting, a passing trend. He waited until I was mature enough to not only have him and feel him in my heart. But to truly hold him there.

I am still flawed, I still cuss, especially when I'm angry. I have intense struggles with lust, anger, and being judgemental. But I am working through all my problems and I know that God loves me despite them.